"This Is Us," Dan Fogelman's acclaimed drama, has captivated audiences with its intricate portrayal of family dynamics and personal struggles. Among the show's most compelling storylines is the relationship between Kate (Chrissy Metz) and Toby (Chris Sullivan), a couple who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting. Their journey, marked by love, loss, and personal growth, takes a significant turn when Toby undergoes a physical transformation, leading to both positive changes and unforeseen challenges in their relationship.
The Beginning: Weight as a Shared Struggle
From the outset, weight is a central theme in Kate and Toby's relationship. They bond over their shared experiences with food and body image, finding solace and support in each other's company. However, as the series progresses, it becomes apparent that their relationship with weight is more complex than it initially seems.
The main criticism of This Is Us is how the show treats Toby and Kate. The couple met at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting, and both of them always seem to be wrapped up in storylines that are related solely to their weight. In This Is Us' first season, we've seen the two Pearson brothers, Randall and Kevin go on incredible emotional journeys. We know a fair amount about their personal lives, their jobs, their hopes and dreams. But if you had to list what we know about Kate, it's a lot tougher. She's… a plus-size person who really wants to lose weight, right? And she was someone's personal assistant once?
Toby's Transformation: A New Chapter
In Season 4, Toby embarks on a weight loss journey, driven by a desire to improve his health and be a better father to his newborn son, Jack. As the show's executive producer, Isaac Aptaker, revealed to Entertainment Weekly, Toby is actually being secretive about his weight loss goals for a very good reason. "I don’t think he’s trying to flaunt in his wife’s face, 'Look at all the weight I’m losing,' especially given how busy she is with the baby and taking care of a newborn. So he’s made the choice of keeping this on the DL and flying under the radar here," Aptaker explained. "Certainly Kate is aware that he’s smaller, but she doesn’t know the extent he’s going to [in order] to lose the weight. And I think he’s doing that to try to protect her."
Viewers witness Toby's dedication to fitness as he hits the gym, shedding pounds and gaining confidence. The actor who plays Toby wears a fat suit for the role, he's also lost weight in real life.
Read also: Weight Loss Guide Andalusia, AL
The "Fat Suit" Controversy
Chris Sullivan wore a fat suit for the first three seasons of This Is Us. When this was revealed back in 2017, some fans were upset that NBC didn't cast a fat actor for the role. Chris wasn't surprised about the backlash, and he acknowledged that since his character gained weight after a divorce, the fat suit left room for flashbacks or other story shifts. He told HuffPost, “The logistics of wearing a costume like that allows me to travel back and forth through time. We know Toby was married before and, because of the divorce, gained a bunch of weight. So there was a time when he was skinnier. So the costume allows, if they want to, for us to jump back and forth through time."
Kate's Reaction: A Mix of Emotions
Kate's reaction to Toby's weight loss is complex and multifaceted. On the one hand, she is proud of his commitment to his health and admires his newfound confidence. On the other hand, she struggles with feelings of insecurity and jealousy, as Toby's transformation highlights her own ongoing struggles with weight loss.
In Season 6, Episode 9 of This Is Us, Kate embarks on a trip to Toby's current home of San Fransisco - where she promptly realizes just how much he has changed. Kate and Toby get caught up in a chain of negotiations about their future together as a family, with Kate still believing they will be able to be happy like they once were - and Toby demanding she gets on board with the move to San Fransisco stat. The episode culminates in an excruciating fight scene. Kate's wants old Toby back and isn't able to come to terms with the giant changes Toby went through since they started dating - which partly began when he lost weight circa Season 4 of This Is Us.
The Impact on Their Relationship
Toby's weight loss journey has a profound impact on his relationship with Kate. As they navigate the challenges of parenthood and personal growth, their differing approaches to weight management create tension and conflict. They are caught in a chain of negotiations about their future together as a family, with Kate still believing they will be able to be happy like they once were - and Toby demanding she gets on board with the move to San Fransisco stat.
The creators decided to considerably alter the drives and motivations of the character sometime after Season 1. According to A.V. Club, Season 6, Episode 9 addresses some of these shifts.
Read also: Beef jerky: A high-protein option for shedding pounds?
More Than Just Weight: Exploring Toby's Character
While weight is an important aspect of Toby's story, it is not the only thing that defines him. As the series progresses, viewers gain a deeper understanding of Toby's personality, his struggles with depression, and his unwavering love for his family.
Toby first meets Kate at a group for people with eating disorders then suffers a heart attack in Season 1 of This Is Us, and then he gradually sheds his goofy, happy persona in later episodes. Season 6, Episode 9 zooms in on the conflict between Toby and Kate - which has to do with how much Toby has grown over the years as a person. Kate wants their old life back. Toby doesn't.
The End of an Era: Kate and Toby's Divorce
Ultimately, Kate and Toby's differing paths lead them to a heartbreaking decision: divorce. Despite their love for each other, they are unable to reconcile their individual needs and desires. "We have some really big stuff for them coming up," Dan Fogelman said, perhaps in reference to Toby and Kate's divorce. "The way Toby and Kate always came together, I’ve always thought was beautiful and romantic, but it was also kind of imperfect," Dan Fogelman, the creator of This Is Us said at a Television Critics Association press tour for Season 6, via Parade. "It was two people who often needed different things at different times and there were lots of conversations early on about whether they were good for one another."
Lessons Learned: A Reflection on Change and Acceptance
Toby's weight loss journey in "This Is Us" serves as a powerful reminder that change can be both transformative and challenging. While his physical transformation brings about positive changes in his health and confidence, it also exposes underlying issues in his relationship with Kate. Ultimately, their story highlights the importance of communication, acceptance, and the ability to navigate change as individuals and as a couple.
Beyond the Scale: The Show's Portrayal of Weight
The show's portrayal of weight has been a subject of much discussion, with some critics arguing that it reinforces harmful stereotypes about plus-size individuals. On the other hand, others praise the show for its willingness to address the complexities of weight and body image in a sensitive and nuanced manner.
Read also: Inspiring Health Transformation
Even if Kate and Toby are focused on getting healthier, weight loss is not the only characteristic of any real person's life. As shocking as this might sound, fat people have hobbies, interests, and dreams, just like straight-size people. But we have no idea what Kate and Toby like to do, other than watch football.