Serena Kerrigan, widely known as the "Queen of Confidence," has built a brand around empowering women and promoting self-love. Her journey, marked by personal struggles and a conscious effort to redefine her self-perception, serves as an inspiration to many. Kerrigan's story is one of transformation, from battling insecurities to creating a platform where she encourages others to embrace their authentic selves.
Early Struggles with Body Image
Like many young women, Serena Kerrigan faced challenges related to body image and self-esteem. She recalls painful experiences, such as being ridiculed for her weight by peers during her middle school and summer camp years. These experiences led to intense self-doubt and a desire to conform to societal standards of beauty.
At 13 years old at summer camp, a prepubescent boy called me fat and his entire group of friends laughed along. I could feel the heat rise into my cheeks and the tears well in my eyes. My heroic friend from arts and crafts swooped in to save the day, taking my hand and guiding me on a long walk to cool down. I hysterically sobbed in her arms, crying to her about how much I hated myself.
Kerrigan remembers staring into her full-length mirror naked and crying. She wanted to look like the majority of her friends who were stick thin, but she had rolls and a tummy. At the time, she couldn’t understand why I was given the body that I had.
The "I Hate Serena Club" and the Power of a Mother's Affirmation
The creation of an "I Hate Serena Club" by her best friends during middle school was a particularly scarring experience. Feeling the pain of that betrayal, she ran to the one woman she knew who would be able to make sense of it all: her mom. While her tears soaked her cheek, her mom ran her fingers through her hair and consoled her. She showed her forearm, tugged at her skin, and said to her, “These things will happen. You’re very sensitive, but you need to develop a thick skin.”
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Through all of her negativity and self-doubt, her mom never failed to give her positive affirmations. She would tell her that her body was beautiful, and that her feelings were a completely normal part of growing up. She explained that her body would continue to change and take shape, and that she would learn to love it. She placed a shower curtain in her bathroom with motivational phrases, such as “I love myself,” “Naked and Happy,” and “Don’t I look good?” She didn’t realize how much of an impact those words would have into her adult life.
The Birth of SFK: A Persona for Confidence
College marked a turning point for Kerrigan. Feeling invisible and insecure at a party, she realized she was tired of letting others' opinions dictate her self-worth. This realization led to the birth of "SFK," a larger-than-life persona that Kerrigan used to project confidence.
I’m not particularly sure what compelled my next move: I was a new college freshman, but I somehow had the courage to walk into a pre-game, beeline it to the first person I locked eyes with, stretch out my hand, and say, “I’m Serena Fucking Kerrigan. Who are you?” Maybe it was because of my obsession with Lady Gaga, who created a persona for herself that made her feel beautiful and strong. Or maybe it was because I loved the way “fucking” rolled right off my tongue. "SFK" was born in 2012, my freshman year of college.
SFK was a superhero version of herself that made her feel powerful. She was extra, larger than life, and was unapologetically herself. She helped me project an image of confidence out into the world and strangely enough, it started working.
Overcoming Criticism and Embracing Authenticity
Even with her newfound confidence, Kerrigan faced criticism. An anonymous post on a college gossip site attacking her weight could have been devastating. However, by this point, Kerrigan had developed a "thick enough skin" to let the comments roll off her back.
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Later that year, I went on CollegiateACB, a gossip site for people to anonymously talk about frats, sororities, and other stuff around college. I typed my name into the search engine with the honest expectation that there’d be no results. I was wrong. There on the screen I saw my name bolded - my full name was literally the title of the post. It read, “She’s super fat. Someone should tell her to lose a few - or more like 50.” I recently found an old diary entry where I had written my thoughts about the experience: “What surprised me about this moment was how little it fazed me. I didn’t feel a prick of insecurity or self-hatred as I read the words “super fat.” I realized that I had reached a point in my life where I had “thick enough skin” (pun intended) to let the comments roll off my back. Our looks do not dictate who we are. Who we are dictates our looks.”
Through the SFK persona, Kerrigan began to see herself in a new light. Eventually, she realized that SFK and Serena weren't so different anymore, and she no longer needed to hide behind the persona. SFK became a tool; a path into my inner strength. Eventually, I started introducing myself as just Serena and that was enough.
Building a Brand of Confidence and Empowerment
Serena Kerrigan transformed her personal journey into a brand centered on body positivity, sexual freedom, and self-love. She began using her platform to answer questions about dating, fitness, and relationships, evolving from SFK to the "Queen of Confidence."
SFK has developed into a brand that represents body positivity, sexual freedom, and being unapologetically in love with yourself. Seven years after my freshman year of college, I was finally confident. And now that I felt empowered, it was time to empower others. I started to use the Q&A feature on Instagram to encourage my followers to ask me questions about dating, fitness, and hangovers. It was around that time that I went through one final transformation: the mostly self-centered SFK became the Queen of Confidence.
Ask Serena: Extending the Impact
Driven by a desire to help others, Kerrigan created a YouTube series called "Ask Serena," where she connects with women and helps them build confidence.
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As my platform grew and I began seeing how my words empowered others, I started looking for ways to extend my impact. I landed on the concept for a Youtube series where I could meet the women asking me questions and really help them become more confident. From there, Ask Serena was born. My goal with this project is to help women like me realize that they’re in control of their narrative and the way they perceive themselves. In one episode, Serena connects with one of her Instagram followers, Rafilenny. Rafilenny reached out to Serena for help after internalizing the derogatory comments made by her close relatives about her body. As a result, this has negatively impacted her confidence about herself and her desire to stay active.
Entrepreneurship and Latinidad
Kerrigan's entrepreneurial spirit led her to create the "Let's F*cking Date" card games, tapping into her audience's anxieties about first date conversations. Her Latinidad has also played a significant role in her career, allowing her to connect with a wider audience and embrace her unique identity.
My Latinidad and being fluent in Spanish has granted me access, and allowed me to connect with so many people that I would not have if I wasn’t raised to be extremely proud of being bicultural and bilingual. My mami told me she never got rid of her accent because it made her who she was. She taught me that what makes you different makes you unique, and that it is your power.
The Importance of Authenticity and Self-Acceptance
Serena Kerrigan's story underscores the importance of authenticity and self-acceptance. By embracing her true self and sharing her journey, she has created a powerful brand that empowers others to do the same.
While I understand my success is driven largely by my white privilege, I do believe that at the end of the day, our time on earth is limited so don’t be afraid to be your authentic self. Take risks and openly voice insecurities. The more open you are, the more you realize you aren't alone in your journey and shame is removed from the equation.
Weight Loss medications and Stigma
The article also touches on the broader conversation surrounding weight loss, celebrity endorsements, and the stigma associated with both weight gain and weight loss. The recent discussion about Oprah Winfrey's weight loss and her use of medication highlights the complexities of this issue.
Last week, Winfrey’s weight loss caused a stir again, this time because she revealed that the key to her current dramatic transformation (on display as she does promotion for The Color Purple) came thanks to medication. While Winfrey didn’t specify which drug, many have assumed she is using a semaglutide (a GLP-1 agonist) like the increasingly popular Ozempic.
While any celebrity’s candor about taking these medications as a means of weight loss may go far in reducing the stigma around them, it would be really groundbreaking to see more speaking up to reduce the stigma around bigger bodies.