Maddie Zahm, an Idaho native and 2018 American Idol alumnus, has been making waves in the music industry with her diary-like, chill indie pop. Her journey, marked by self-discovery, honesty, and a deep connection with her fans, is an inspiring tale of an artist evolving and embracing her true self.
Early Influences and American Idol
Zahm's musical journey began in the church, where she served as a worship leader. However, it was her experience on American Idol that truly ignited her passion for songwriting. "I think the biggest takeaway from American Idol was probably seeing other people write their own music, and at that time, I hadn’t really written any music seriously, or that was worth listening to," she recalls. Seeing fellow contestants like Maddie Poppe and Catie Turner perform their original songs inspired her to explore her own songwriting abilities.
Post-Idol Struggles and Finding Her Voice
Life after Idol wasn't easy for Zahm. Overwhelmed by the attention and feeling like a failure after dropping out of school, she experienced a mental health dip. However, with the support of her parents, particularly her mother who encouraged her to pursue music, she found the motivation to keep going. "I’m really thankful for my parents, because I had moved back to L.A. for a couple months at that time, and just was miserable. I moved back home and went back to school, and my parents saw how deeply sad I was. My mom was actually the one who told me that I needed to drop out because I could do music if I really wanted to. She just wanted me to see what it would look like if I really tried. And so, I thank her a lot. Not a lot of parents would beg their kid to drop out to pursue music, but she was right."
Zahm's music is characterized by its diaristic nature, reflecting her personal experiences and struggles. Her 2022 EP, You May Not Like Her, and her 2023 debut album, Now That I’ve Been Honest, delve into themes of self-discovery, identity, and honesty. "I felt like the EP was definitely me deconstructing and unraveling parts of my identity that were major in the formation of who I am. And losing that many identities in a very short amount of time, it felt like I didn’t really have a chance to be honest about what that felt like," she explains. "So, I kind of went into it knowing that it was gonna be like a diary of what it feels like to completely deconstruct yourself as a human being."
Connecting with Fans and the Power of Vulnerability
Zahm's music resonates deeply with her fans, particularly those who have gone through similar experiences. Her willingness to be vulnerable and share her personal struggles has created a strong connection with her audience. "I feel like seeing the reaction of people in small towns and not major markets has made me realize how much I wish I would have had my music when I was growing up in Idaho," she says. "And I guess it just means that the people that I was writing the music for, that it’s reaching them. So, I’m really grateful for that."
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Her song "Fat, Funny Friend" has become an anthem for many, addressing body image issues and the feeling of being misunderstood. "At the time, I was really freaked out about posting it because I had undergone weight loss processes and was losing weight at a rapid scale. I was afraid that it wasn’t gonna be received well," Zahm admits. "I knew it was an important song when Catie [Turner] and I sat down and wrote it, but I wish that I had had it when I was 13 or 14, going through PCOS and weight gain. I also knew that it was really important to me that I posted when I wasn’t at the end of my weight loss journey, because had I had, you know, been 16, when I was struggling with my weight, and then looked up and, like, heard this song, and then looked that person up and saw a skinny blonde, I would have been absolutely pissed off." The song's honesty and vulnerability struck a chord with listeners, making it her most streamed song ever.
Embracing Her Queer Identity
Another significant aspect of Zahm's journey has been her coming out as queer. Her song "You Might Not Like Her" captures the complexities of this process and the empathy for the versions of herself that she left behind. "I wrote it with one of my closest friends, Carlee [Chappell]. I came into the session, and it was after I’d kissed one of my girlfriends. I was crying, and I was like, 'What does this mean? I don’t know,'" she recalls. "I wrote this chorus and then those verses were the fucking fastest thing that have ever come out of my mouth. Melodically, that song doesn’t make sense, because you can tell it was just a rant."
Zahm's decision to come out was influenced by the positive response to "Fat, Funny Friend" and the support she received from the body positive community. "With that song online, the body positive community, the plus-size community scooped me up with open arms and loved the shit out of me. And I thought, If being honest led me to all of these folks, then what am I to do other than also share about my queer journey."
Weight Loss and Body Image
Zahm has also been open about her weight loss journey, having undergone gastric sleeve surgery. She emphasizes that her decision was driven by health issues and that she doesn't believe her life is any better or worse because of it. "I’ve worked so hard to make it a neutral thing, because I don’t believe my life is any better or any worse because of weight loss," she states. "Had I figured out how to control my PCOS without surgery I believe now with the internal work I’ve done, I would’ve gone to a place where I would’ve loved my plus-size body but at the time that felt like the answer."
She acknowledges the complexities of weight loss and the societal pressures surrounding body image. "Weight loss is really disorienting and complex, and I’m still trying to figure out how I feel about it. I think I’m more insecure about my body now than I was when I was plus size." She also notes the change in societal treatment she experienced after losing weight, which inspired her to write "Fat, Funny Friend."
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