Lorde, the acclaimed singer-songwriter, has embarked on a transformative journey, confronting personal battles that have shaped her both as an artist and as an individual. Her experiences, including struggles with mental health, body image, and an eating disorder, have profoundly influenced her music and her perspective on life.
Confronting Mental Health and Stage Fright
In May 2025, Lorde revealed to Rolling Stone that she had been touring without stage fright for the first time. This newfound sense of calm was accompanied by a visceral feeling of connection with her music, as if "there was a hook around my guts and everyone in the room was having the same feeling, [like] there’d been a huge pressure change."
However, this period of relative peace was preceded by a challenging phase marked by mental health struggles and stage fright during the planning of her four-month Solar Power tour in 2022. Overcoming these obstacles required a conscious effort to prioritize her well-being. “Once I stopped doing that, I had all this energy for making stuff,” Lorde explained, emphasizing the importance of self-care in unlocking her creative potential. “I could see that if I cut that cord, maybe I would get something back that I needed to do my work. And it was totally true."
The Battle with Disordered Eating
Lorde's journey towards self-acceptance also involved confronting an eating disorder. She described a period where her thoughts were consumed by food, exercise, and weight, making it impossible to focus on her creative pursuits. “This was a period where all I was thinking about was trying to weigh as little as possible, and going to sleep thinking about food, and waking up thinking about food and exercise,” she continued. “That was my creative pursuit; that’s where it was all going."
In an interview on BBC Radio 1, Lorde spoke with host Jack Saunders about the tough personal battles that shaped her new album Virgin. At the start of 2023, she remembered feeling distant from her identity as an artist. She said her struggle with an eating disorder played a big role in creating that disconnect.
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She told Rolling Stone in a May 15 interview that she felt so hungry and so weak, adding her battle hit a new peak when she started to promote the record. She was on TV that morning, and didn’t eat because she wanted her tummy to be small in the dress. As she explained, her relationship with food began to change during the coronavirus pandemic, when she noticed she was “counting calories” and “monitoring her protein intake” more than usual.
The singer candidly admitted that she was "at war in my body," engaging in self-destructive behaviors like starving herself to become thinner, only to gain the weight back. This experience left her feeling "trapped in the hatred," highlighting the emotional toll of body image issues.
Virgin: A Reflection of Healing and Self-Discovery
Lorde's new album, Virgin, serves as a powerful testament to her healing process and her journey of self-discovery. The album explores themes of self-image, femininity, and reclaiming control over one's life.
In the song "Broken Glass," she delves into how her battle with disordered eating drained her creativity. The closing track, "David," draws inspiration from Michelangelo's statue and the biblical story of David and Goliath, reflecting on patterns of authority and control she has observed throughout her career. Lorde described writing “David” as a pivotal moment and saw it as a crucial way to let go of bottled-up emotions. The album entered the Billboard 200 at No. 2, marking a powerful comeback for the singer.
Lorde has never held back as a songwriter: her debut single, Royals, for example, from 2013, took aim at the music industry’s history of prioritising commerce over art. Still, even by her own highly confessional standards, the honesty with which she talks about body image on Virgin is striking. “I cover up all the mirrors … make a meal I won’t eat,” she sings on the single What Was That, a bittersweet disco onslaught that blends euphoria and emotional torment.
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Smiling softly, she explains that working on the album was part of the process of making herself whole again - and of reflecting on her issues around her weight.“It was actually really hard for me to accept. I almost still can’t accept it. I’m lucky in that it wasn’t very long,” she says. “It could definitely have been a lot worse. For me, any kind of restriction of who I am supposed to be just does not work. It completely blocked my creativity and cut me off from a life force.“It took me quite a long time to realise that was happening. It’s also like this evil little rite of passage for a lot of women. I don’t think it’s a unique experience I had. It felt algorithmically predestined or something.”
Embracing Vulnerability and Discomfort
Lorde has embraced vulnerability and discomfort as tools for personal growth. Her collaboration with Charli XCX on a remix of "Girl, So Confusing" marked a turning point, as she openly addressed her struggles with body image and self-acceptance.
Lorde talks about embracing “discomfort” as a tool for personal growth. That was point of Girl, So Confusing and the two singles she has released from Virgin, What Was That and Man of the Year, the latter a stark unpacking of her 2023 break-up.
“I’d come to this realisation as an artist that my personal discomfort is … I’m not going to let my fear stand in the way of making an expression of truth that feels really important to make,” she says.
“It might, I don’t know, be helpful for other people to hear. Just doing the scary thing - I was, like, just see what happens if you do it. And [it was] so cool that I had been working on this album and then, kind of unbeknownst to me, Charli had been processing her own uncompromising womanhood, trying to become that sort of woman also.“It felt like the right moment to test the waters of the direction of some of the subject matter I’d been writing for my own record and [meet] her vulnerability with my own vulnerability. There had to be something on the line for it to really land. It was freaky - but beautiful too. I felt something release in me when the song released.”
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Redefining Femininity and Gender Identity
Lorde is also challenging traditional notions of femininity and gender identity. She has spoken about feeling "in the middle gender-wise," embracing both her masculine and feminine energies. On Virgin she is learning to embrace it. If men are allowed get in touch with their feminine side, why can’t women celebrate their inner masculinity?
“We have these containers, some of which are really helpful and work really well for us, and some of which just don’t do the job. And for me, understanding that I am a woman, that’s how I identify … I don’t see that changing,” she says.
“But there’s also something in me that is masculine, and I’ve always been that way since I was a child. There was a ‘bothness’ to me. And being okay with that, not being easy to be boxed up, you … It can be a bit uncomfortable to not have the tidiness. But I think that it’s worth it for me to be true to myself and see what comes as a result.”
Reflecting on the Past and Embracing the Future
Lorde's journey has been marked by both triumphs and tribulations. She acknowledges the impact of her early fame on her personal development, noting that "you form totally differently when people are looking at you from a young age."
That journey - a rollercoaster with no emergency brake - has left scars. Virgin is, in part, a reckoning with that painful transformation from everyday teenager to international chart-topper.“You form totally differently when people are looking at you from a young age,” she says. “I still dream probably once a month that a man is taking a photo of me with a long-lens camera. It’s deep in my subconscious that someone might be looking at me and capturing something that I’m [not ready] for them to see.”
Despite the challenges, Lorde remains optimistic about the future. She is committed to creating art that is authentic and meaningful, regardless of public opinion. She has come to realize that external validation is not the key to fulfillment and that true satisfaction comes from within.
Lorde would like to think that Virgin will be received differently - but she won’t be devastated if that’s not the case.“I really remember saying that I wanted … to feel, no matter what happens tomorrow, this is everything I want. I’m so proud of this. There’s nothing I would do differently. I remember saying that to myself and totally feel like that … This could get panned, God forbid, but it could - and I would [still] love it so much.” Solar Power “taught me a lot. I do love that album. It’s beautiful and sweet.”