The narrative of Kate Arends, the creative force behind Wit & Delight, transcends the typical weight loss story. It’s a chronicle of self-discovery, resilience, and the courage to redefine success on her own terms. Her story isn’t just about physical transformation; it’s about navigating life's complexities, embracing change, and finding contentment in authenticity.
The Illusion of "Someone": A Quest for Validation
Arends' journey, like many others, began with a pursuit of external validation. She strived to become "someone" according to societal standards, measuring her worth through outward achievements. This relentless pursuit created a blur between genuine self-expression and the need for approval. The discontentment she felt despite her accomplishments highlighted the emptiness of validation-seeking.
The Courage to Try Less: Redefining Success
The turning point in Arends' journey came with the realization that true fulfillment lies not in relentless striving, but in embracing one's authentic self. It wasn't about abandoning ambition, but about relinquishing the need to be someone she wasn't. Witnessing her own overcompensation, she created space to understand what she truly sought. Her efforts shifted from hiding behind a mask of achievement to alchemizing into genuine growth.
Embracing Multiple Identities: Beyond the Niche
Arends resists being confined to a single definition. As a designer, mother, founder, and creative director, she embodies multiple identities. This refusal to be pigeonholed is central to her brand, Wit & Delight. Through her diverse roles, Arends captures the beauty of a life lived authentically. Her images, videos, and blog posts resonate because they lack the unattainable aspiration often found on social media.
A Day in the Life: Flexibility and Discipline
Arends' success isn't defined by long hours at a desk. She prioritizes exercise, time outdoors, play, and intentional time with her family. Her schedule is both flexible and disciplined, allowing her to balance various aspects of her life. She typically wakes up at 6 a.m. for a workout before her children wake up. From 8:30 to 11 a.m., she dedicates 90 minutes to focused work, which may include designing, working on home projects, or consulting with clients. She emphasizes the importance of prioritizing daily movement, deep work, and quality time with loved ones.
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Sustainable Routines: A Key to Balance
Arends acknowledges that strict routines may not always be sustainable. She prioritizes what makes life run smoothly: daily movement for mental and physical health, deep work that advances her business and goals, and quality time with her loved ones. She recognizes the need for flexibility and adapts her routines to fit her current circumstances.
The 2023 Recap: A Year of Hard Truths
Arends' annual recaps on Wit & Delight offer a raw and honest look at her experiences. The 2023 recap was particularly significant, as it delved into hard truths and a semi-resignation from her previous path. She shares her failures and breakdowns, recognizing that these experiences are not unique to her. She emphasizes the importance of writing down her reflections to avoid rewriting history.
Navigating Failure: Finding Hope in Disappointment
Arends' story offers hope to those facing failures and disappointments. She demonstrates the courage to get back up and try again, even when it seems impossible. Her experiences show that there is always hope, even in the darkest of times.
January: A Fresh Start
Arends began the year with a renewed sense of purpose. She enjoyed a snowy walk, spent time in the sauna, and focused on work. She made time for friends, cooked delicious meals, and embraced wintery activities. She prioritized daily movement and felt more at home in her body.
August: Physical Strength, Mental Unrest
By August, Arends felt physically stronger but mentally unsettled. She sensed that something terrible was coming. Her husband was unhappy at work, and she felt exhausted by content creation. Despite these challenges, she found joy in simple things like playing chess, spending time with family, and witnessing the birth of her niece.
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Confronting Challenges: A Downward Spiral
In September 2022, the departure of her New Business Director marked the beginning of a challenging period. New business slowed, and Arends felt uncomfortable selling herself. She numbed her fear with TV and mindless scrolling, but this only led to further exhaustion.
COVID and Reflection: A Moment of Vulnerability
Arends contracted COVID in February, which forced her to slow down and reflect. She spent days in bed, crying and worrying about the future of her business. She found solace in reading "The Obstacle Is the Way" and "The Body Keeps the Score." She began to prioritize self-care, focusing on working out, drinking water, and spending time in the sun.
Financial Strain: Tough Decisions
April brought a foot of snow and financial strain. Two major clients backed out of sponsored projects, leaving Arends with a severe cash flow problem. She was forced to make difficult decisions about her team, ultimately leading to layoffs. The weight of these challenges consumed her, and she felt like she had failed everyone.
Acknowledging Failure: Tearing Everything Down
Arends realized that her avoidance and self-medication had led to a snowball of dissatisfaction. She confronted her problems head-on, tearing everything down and starting anew. Her husband found a new job, and she focused on maintaining stability for her children.
Jumping Off a Cliff: A Leap of Faith
In a moment of desperation, Arends decided to "quit" her previous path, believing she would find wings on the way down. This decision led to confusion, questions, and a mass exodus of followers. She realized she was about to face the issues she had been trying to outrun.
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Summer Struggles: Dwindling Confidence
The summer months were filled with turmoil. Arends felt lost and struggled to interact with others. Her business accounts dwindled, and she realized her options for a second career were not panning out as expected. She felt sorry for herself and questioned everything.
A Moment of Clarity: Confronting the Darkness
While in the woods of her mind, Arends read a short story called "The Resident," which resonated deeply with her. The story inspired her to confront herself in the darkness and to recognize the potential for growth through adversity.
Montana Inspiration: A New Path Forward
A trip to Montana sparked a new sense of inspiration. Arends began to explore a different role in the interior design and construction industry. She felt physically strong and her eyes were clearer than they had been in years.
The Inner Critic: A Repeating Loop
Despite her progress, Arends continued to struggle with her inner critic. She questioned her motivations and feared moving forward. She realized she was afraid of what she would become if she stopped beating herself up.
Letting Go: A Practice in Progress
Arends began to practice letting go of her self-criticism. She moved away from relationships that thrived on comparison and invited relationships that cultivated possibility and collaboration. She and her husband reconnected during a trip to France.
Marriage as a Foundation: Handling Hard Times
The couple talked candidly about their fears and hopes for the future. They realized that underneath the problems of their day-to-day life was the foundation of a family that could handle a lot. Their marriage sustained them through a long period of disconnection.
Recognizing the True Self: A Turning Point
One evening, Arends lamented about getting older and not recognizing the person she had become. Her husband pointed out that she didn't sound like herself, prompting her to confront her struggles and rediscover her true self.
2022 Reflections: A Year of Transformation
As 2022 drew to a close, Arends reflected on the year's experiences. She started the year feeling unsure about the state of her life. She vowed to do less ruminating and began incorporating more whole foods into her diet.
Movement and Rediscovery: Starting Over
During a workout, Arends had an epiphany: she could start over. She began to prioritize movement and rediscovered her love for exercise. She felt inspired and energized.
Spending Freeze: Gaining Mental Space
Arends put herself on a spending freeze, which led to a sense of lightness and more mental space. She realized she didn't need many of the items she had been purchasing. She started to dig deeper into the reasons behind her spending habits.
Vacation and Relaxation: Recharging
Arends went on her first vacation in a long time, which allowed her to relax and recharge. She learned to appreciate new things and came back feeling refreshed.
Summer Chaos: Finding Joy in the Simple Things
June was a chaotic month, but Arends found joy in simple things like spending time at the pool with her kids. She realized that her children were having the best summer ever, which helped her snap out of her funk.
Antidepressants: A Shift in Perspective
Arends began to consider managing her mental health without medication. She had found movement again and had made huge strides in changing the way she dealt with adversity. With the guidance of a medical professional, she started slowly and didn't throw herself into the "new era, new me" mindset.
Withdrawal Symptoms: Navigating the Rollercoaster
Arends experienced withdrawal symptoms like brain zaps, nausea, dizzy spells, and euphoria. She relied on the tools she had learned through therapy and opened herself up to whatever release or outlet the feelings needed to take.
Turning Thirty-Nine: A Deep Sense of Appreciation
Arends turned thirty-nine and felt a deep sense of appreciation for who she had become. She was thankful for all the ways she had shown up for herself and felt a pull toward shedding what felt out of alignment with this sense of self-respect.
Scaling Back: Prioritizing Self-Care
Arends scaled back on her holiday commitments and tried to take it as easy as possible through the holiday busyness. She tried not to judge her worth based on her productivity and trusted that the extremes of her anxiety would start to wane.
2023 Mantra: Forward Motion
Arends' mantra for 2023 was "forward motion." She committed to always putting one foot in front of the other, even when things were hard, and giving herself support and grace along the way. She believed this mindset was helpful for people with perfectionism or anyone with a tendency to use a roadblock as a reason to stay idle.
The Glimmer of Interest: A Beacon of Hope
The glimmer of interest in movement that Arends felt in February became a beacon for when she was feeling hopeless. It was a practice she could commit to. She learned that it's the tiny things we do every day that make up the majority of what life looks like.