Bakari Sellers, an activist, attorney, author, and former state legislator from South Carolina, has been a prominent figure in American public life since 2006. The son of a famous Civil Rights activist, Cleveland Sellers, Bakari has carried the torch of his father's legacy while forging his own path. This article explores Sellers' life, focusing on his journey through activism, his reflections on fatherhood, and his personal struggles with fertility. We will delve into his experiences, drawing from interviews and writings, to understand the pressures and expectations he faces and how he navigates them.
A Legacy of Activism
Bakari Sellers' life is deeply intertwined with the Civil Rights movement. His father, Cleveland Sellers, played a leadership role in the Student Non-Violent Coordinating Committee (SNCC) in the 1960s and was close to iconic figures like Stokely Carmichael, Julian Bond, John Lewis, and Martin Luther King, Jr. Bakari grew up hearing stories of the movement, which instilled in him a sense of pride and a desire to continue his father's work.
One pivotal event that shaped the Sellers family was the Orangeburg Massacre in February 1968. During a protest against the segregation of a local bowling alley, highway patrolmen opened fire on a group of African American students at South Carolina State College, killing three and injuring 28, including Cleveland Sellers, who was shot and subsequently jailed. This event and other stories from the Civil Rights era instilled a sense of purpose and resilience in Bakari, but also a weight of expectations.
Bakari acknowledges the pressure that comes with being the son of a Civil Rights icon. In his 2016 memoir, "My Vanishing Country," he wrote, "I see my life as an extension of my father's journey. I am a bridge between his work and the achievement of our common goal of racial equity." This sense of responsibility adds a layer of complexity to his life, as he strives to live up to the legacy of those who came before him.
Fatherhood and the Burden of Hope
As a father himself, Bakari grapples with how to talk to his children about the challenges facing America, particularly in the context of racial injustice. He recognizes the importance of instilling in them a sense of hope and resilience while also preparing them for the realities of the world.
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Bakari emphasizes the importance of expressing love and affection within his family. Drawing from the ethos of the Civil Rights movement, where activists faced constant danger, he ensures that his children hear "I love you" every day. This is his way of fulfilling his household with love, because when they go out into this world, it may not be as kind.
He also reflects on the lessons his parents taught him, the first being that you could be anything you wanted to be in the world as long as you were a change agent, and the second being that you got to always have this insatiable desire to learn as much as possible. He wants to pass these values on to his own children, encouraging them to be active participants in shaping a better future.
However, Bakari admits that he struggles with the pressure of ensuring his children's success and happiness. He acknowledges his anxiety and the difficulty of balancing his personal and professional life. He is working on giving himself more grace and learning to cope with the weight of expectations.
The Silent Struggle: Infertility and the Path to Parenthood
Beyond his public life, Bakari Sellers and his wife experienced a personal struggle with infertility. Their journey to parenthood was fraught with challenges, including unexplained infertility, a miscarriage, and multiple rounds of fertility treatments. This intimate experience reveals a different side of Sellers, one marked by vulnerability and resilience.
After marrying in August 2015, Bakari and his wife were ready to expand their family. However, after a year of trying to conceive naturally, they sought the help of a reproductive endocrinologist. They were diagnosed with "unexplained infertility," a frustrating diagnosis that offered no clear answers.
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Despite the lack of a specific cause, they persevered, tracking ovulation and exploring various fertility treatments. In February 2017, they were overjoyed to discover they were pregnant, but their hopes were dashed when an ultrasound revealed that the baby had no heartbeat. The subsequent miscarriage was a devastating blow, testing their emotional strength and their relationship.
Determined to become parents, Bakari and his wife continued to pursue fertility treatments, including intrauterine insemination (IUI) and in vitro fertilization (IVF). The process was physically and emotionally demanding, requiring numerous doctor visits, injections, and procedures. The financial burden of fertility treatments also added to the stress.
Their first round of IVF yielded only two eggs, neither of which matured. Discouraged but not defeated, they sought a second opinion from a new reproductive endocrinologist who recommended a different approach. After more preparation and another round of IVF, they were finally successful. In May 2018, they received the joyous news that they were expecting twins.
Their path to parenthood was far from easy, but Bakari and his wife's perseverance and unwavering commitment to each other ultimately led them to their dream of expanding their family. Their story is a testament to the power of hope, resilience, and the importance of seeking support when facing challenges.
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