The term "Almond Mom" has recently entered the cultural lexicon, sparking conversations about parenting, diet culture, and body image. This article dives into the origins of the term, its potential impact, and ways to foster healthy relationships with food and body image.
What is an "Almond Mom?"
An "almond mom" is a parent who promotes unhealthy eating habits, often in the form of restrictive diets with a weight loss goal, that they then try to instill in their own children. This term describes parents who transfer their own unhealthy dietary habits or disordered eating onto their children.
Lucy Upton, a paediatric dietitian, explains that an "almond mom" is a term coined to describe a parent who may impart their own disordered or ‘unhealthy’ beliefs or behaviors around food, body size, and/or wellness onto their children.
Karine Patel, an eating disorder dietitian, explains that an almond mom is a mum who has an unhealthy obsession with "healthy eating" or dieting. She pushes her kids to follow very restrictive eating behaviors or diets, for fear that her kids could become unhealthy or overweight.
Origins of the Term
The term "almond mom" emerged in late 2022 and early 2023. It seems to have been inspired by a viral video featuring a clip from an episode of the reality show The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In the clip, Gigi Hadid, who has a strict diet due to her modeling career, tells her mother Yolanda that she is weak from hunger. Yolanda responded with "Have a couple of almonds, and chew them really well."
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Yolanda defended her controversial comment in an interview, explaining that she was recovering from surgery and “half asleep” when Gigi called. She was clearly poking fun at herself.
However, this wasn't an isolated incident. In another episode, Yolanda told Gigi, "You can have one night of being bad, right? Then you gotta get back on your diet, though. Because, you know, in Paris and Milan they like the girls just a tad on the skinny side."
Characteristics of an "Almond Mom"
While Yolanda Hadid might be an extreme example, there are other parents who share this attitude when it comes to their children's eating habits, just perhaps in more subtle ways. Some signs of an "almond mom" include:
- Parents who meal skip or have water instead of food when hungry
- Parents who may have concrete rules about foods that can or cannot be in the house
- Parents who may avoid eating with their children, or avoid social occasions where they or their children are exposed to certain foods
- Labeling food as 'good' or 'bad'
- An obsession with your child's body weight or size
- Constant monitoring of what your child is eating and commenting on it
- Anxiety or fear if a food that is 'less nutritious' is eaten
The Problem with "Almond Moms"
Promoting diet culture can have an impact on how children view food and their own body. Dieting behaviors may influence children to not only develop unhealthy eating habits but also lead to reduced feelings of self-worth and low self-esteem. Similarly, disordered eating patterns can lead to anxiety, depression and social isolation. Additionally, children may internalize the poor body image attitudes they are exposed to and begin to view their own bodies in a negative light. This could lead to an increased likelihood of developing an eating disorder or engaging in unhealthy weight control behaviors. Furthermore, children who have grown up in such an environment are more likely to develop unhealthy body image perceptions as adults, perpetuating the cycle of negative body image and disordered eating.
Dr. Karla Lester, a pediatrician and childhood obesity expert, pointed out that Yolanda was also filmed shaming Gigi for wanting to indulge on her birthday. Lester says, "You can have one night of being bad, right," Yolanda says. "Then you gotta get back on your diet, though. Because, you know, in Paris and Milan they like the girls just a tad on the skinny side." According to Lester, an almond mom is a person who is usually “stuck in diet culture,” and likely grew up hearing phrases such as “a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips,” and “you’re not hungry, you’re bored.”
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“The almond mom phenomenon is rooted in fat phobia and internalized bias,” Lester told TODAY Parents. “She projects her own fears onto her children and in doing so, teaches them that she doesn’t accept them unless they’re at a weight that may be unattainable.”
Parenting and youth development expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa agrees with Lester’s assessment. “There’s this belief that our body shape is a reflection of our character, of our strength of will and our motivation to be healthy,” Gilboa told TODAY.
Research published in the Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics concluded that observing the eating behaviour of others influences children's acceptance of foods, while findings from Cambridge University suggested that mothers who were preoccupied with their own weight and eating reported higher levels of restricting daughters' food intake. The researchers said that this "may place daughters at risk for developing problematic eating behaviours."
Karine Patel agrees with these conclusions. She tells us: "Almond moms can have a very negative impact on their kids - they can develop a bad relationship with food, strong anxiety around food or fear of eating, and it can lead to disordered eating or severe eating disorders in the future.
Healing from "Almond Mom" Influence
Growing up in a home with toxic diet talk can have long-term negative effects on our mental and physical health. Healing from an unhealthy relationship with food and body image is possible. Through self-reflection, self-compassion, and professional guidance, it is possible to learn how to nourish your mind and body in a healthy way. Here are some steps to take to begin the journey of healing:
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Reflect on how pervasive diet culture has been in your life (and your mother's): Take time to think about how diet culture has impacted you, and how it likely influenced your mother. Reflecting on these realities can give you insight into what may have impacted both you and your mother in developing difficult relationships with food, weight and body image.
Try to look at your mother's complicated issues with food and body image with compassion and empathy: Remembering your mother is only human and likely did the best she can despite harming can help lessen the anger you feel over time. Intergenerational trauma can play a major role in the development of disordered eating, body image issues, and unhealthy relationships with food. It is important to acknowledge this intergenerational trauma in order to better understand how it perpetuates disordered eating patterns.
Allow yourself to feel anger, sadness and grief: As you look at the complicated issues with food and body image your mother has faced and how it impacts you, it is important to give yourself permission to feel these emotions. By allowing yourself to feel anger, sadness and grief, you can begin the process of healing and moving towards a healthier relationship with both yourself and your mother.
Take time to reflect on your current relationship with food and body image: Acknowledge any unhealthy behaviors or beliefs that you have picked up from her. Take the time to be mindful of how you think and speak about both food and body image currently and check-in with yourself regularly to gauge how these narratives may have shifted over time.
Learn to deal with continued diet talk, toxic comments, or disordered behaviors: Having a conversation with your mother or family member, whether with the support of a therapist or not, can help educate your loved one on how their comments impact you. If they are unable to make changes, the next best thing is to set boundaries for yourself.
Reach out for help if you need it: Working with a therapist or registered dietitian can be extremely beneficial in helping you to develop a healthier relationship with both. Additionally, you can seek support from online communities and forums, or reach out to family and friends who can provide a listening ear or additional resources.
How to Avoid Passing on Food Anxieties to Your Kids
Experts Lucy and Karine have shared their tips for helping children foster a healthy relationship with food, even if it's something you might struggle with yourself.
- Trust your child’s appetite - encourage children to listen to their bodies, eating to their own appetite (not to specified volumes or timings)
- Serve a variety of colorful food and let your child choose what they want to eat on their plate
- Role model balanced eating habits, and eating the same meal together as much as possible
- Avoid labelling foods as 'good' or 'bad'
- Don't use food as a reward or punishment e.g. if you’re offering dessert, consider offering it alongside the rest if the meal, and don’t use it as bribery, reward or withhold it as ‘punishment’
- Involve and encourage kids to cook
Promoting Healthy Habits
Gilboa highlighted "five things that have been proven to improve kids’ overall fitness and nutrition":
- Eating breakfast every morning.
- Eating takeout no more than once a week.
- Moving 60 minutes a day.
- No more than two hours of recreational screen time a day.
- And no more than 6 ounces of sweetened drinks per day.
Lester stressed the importance of positive body image promotion and family mealtimes. “There’s data that shows these things help raise children who can can be steered away from developing an eating disorder or experiencing unhealthy weight gain,” she said. “When you shame, when you judge, that’s when problems arise.”